How to get over a Breakup: From a Boys Point of View


Photo Courtesy: Hamish Duncan

Don’t Dwell On what happened, appreciate the moments you had with your ex, and go out and do the things you love.

It feels like your heart is being ripped out from your chest, and there’s nothing you can do to fix it. You’re confused, probably mad, and most of all extremely sad. Whether it’s been a month, a year, or even five years, a breakup is something that will always come with a little bit of grief.


Losing someone that meant so much to you isn’t easy to let go of. The love, the laughter, the company, and the special bond you shared with your ex, aren’t easy things to forget about. It’s hard to accept the truth and to realize the person who meant everything to you, is gone.


It’s hard for someone to understand why they got broken up with, especially when they thought everything was going just fine. No signals, no hints, just completely caught off guard. Whether your ex cheated on you, lead you on, or just gave up on you, you’ll never know the reason behind it all. But it’s okay my friends.


Even though there will never be someone else like your ex or someone to replace them, there might be someone you don’t know yet that will make you an even happier person in the future. There’s always going to be someone else out in the world that may just be the perfect fit for you. You’ll never find the “right one” until you finally get over your previous breakup and move on.


To move on from your ex, you must first accept it. Accept the fact that she’s gone and understand that you did the best you could to make her happy. Even if you feel the breakup wasn’t fair or that you weren’t given any chances to fix anything, respect her choice; think of it as her loss, not yours.


We often miss the things that we used to have, and the fun times we shared, but, don’t chase the person that left you; that’s not the person you love anymore. They aren’t the same person that you used to watch sunsets with nor are is she the person who can enjoy a long car conversation with.  They aren’t the same person that you knew and loved and became so comfortable with, so be thankful for all the memories that you created with them and use it as motivation to find an even better one.


Whatever you’re going through, never blame yourself. Never dwell on the idea that you could’ve done this or that because, at the end of the day, you did the best you could. Sure, you weren’t perfect, and maybe you could’ve done a bit more, but the things that happened in your past can all be used to make your next relationship better. It doesn’t matter what happened in the past because all we can do is focus on ourselves today and making ourselves better people for tomorrow.


It’s hard to get rid of all the memories that you created with her, but deleting the pictures on your phone, throwing away the hand-written letters, and getting rid of anything that reminds you of her helps to put them at the very back of your mind. It helps to boost the healing process. A good friend told me “your mind stores the most powerful memories”, a sign that you may never forget about your ex and the connection you had with them, but you sure as hell don’t need to surround yourself with that the items that remind you of her.


One thing that’s easier said than done, is to not be jealous. Let your ex do whatever she wants to do. What she decided to do with her life doesn’t affect you anymore. If she wants to talk to another boy, or go to parties with her friends, understand that losing you is her loss. She’s the one that ended things; she’s the one who couldn’t find the courage to pull through the tough times. Her life is out of your control now, and it shouldn’t be a concern of yours anymore. Remove the apps from your phone that will give you the urge to reach out to her. Limit your screen time so you’re not always checking whether she’s doing this or that. Leave it alone, stay away from your phone. Who cares what she’s doing now. Let her do her own thing because the only thing that you can control is what you decided to do with our own life.


And I think the most important thing that any boy can do after getting their heart broken is to surround themselves around the people they love. Go spend more time with your family. Go to the basketball park to hang out with friends. Go surfing to relieve your stress, and truly have a nice conversation with a family member or close friend. Because at the end of the day your family and friends are the people who will always be there for you, and the people that can put a smile on your face. They’re the people that can lift you up and allow you to see that your life isn’t over just because your relationship is.


Getting broken up with sucks, but remember to focus on yourself, and recognize that you still have a damn good life with or without a girlfriend. Do what makes you happy, and maybe in a few months or so, you’ll stumble upon someone you never thought you’d be with. So don’t give up, keep your head up, and never settle. Be thankful for your past relationship and the time you spent with her but don’t forget to incorporate these tips into all of your guy’s lives. Take care.